Updated: Oct 4, 2020
Honouring the feminine consciousness of the wombspace
The last few days I have been reflecting on the process of Feminine & Womb Healing and how subtle shifts in energy have created powerful change in my relation to Self, my life as well as for others that I have worked with. In this post, I would like to talk specifically about the shift that I experienced once I received my very personal Yoni Name.
But first, I feel it's important to share some personal information about my upbringing and how that influenced my relationship with my wombspace. As a child, I remember my mum lowering her voice to talk to me about my "private parts" calling them "poulaki" which in the greek language translates as "little bird". For whatever reasons this is actually the common word still used in Greece to describe both male and female body parts! Although I could not find any rational or even historic information to explain this, I absolutely love this indirect association of the sexual organs with birds that are known to make Sound!
I remember when I got my first period, there was something in the sound of my mum's voice that made me think at the time that I am not really supposed to talk about (or to) my feminine body. It felt almost like an unsaid agreement passed down from mother to daughter for generations that brought with it a subtle whiff of shame and uncomfortableness and at the same time, an inexplicable feeling of pride for joining womanhood. I also remember the efforts of my father and other grown-ups in the family who were trying to educate by making things light or even joking. I remember how their words made me even more uncomfortable and certainly less willing to engage in the conversation despite my curiousity spiking. I knew even then that compared to my friends' parents, my parents had quite modern views and they felt that the best way to "protect" me would be by educating and opening up about sexuality and the differences between male and female body. Despite their best intentions and openness, there was an underlying current of their own past conditioning that associated the feminine body and sexuality with shame and the need to be protected rather than honoured and explored in a healthy way. Instead my "celebration" for becoming a woman arrived through my first visits to the gynaecologist to check that everything was OK!
Later in my 20s I remember rushing to the hospital for my first abdominal surgery. I remember the clinical terms used by the doctors and how they stated their professional opinion about what they thought that I should allow them to do to me. After all, western medicine does not leave much room to connect with the wisdom of the wombspace or for emotions. I remember myself during all the pre- & post- surgery conversations discussing my feminine body and reproductive future without really holding space for the fear, the sadness, the grief. In hindsight, the whole experience left me feeling that I had no connection with or any control over my feminine body. I ended up with two botched surgeries with only three years apart. It was after these experiences that I started exploring energy healing, spirituality and the body-mind-spirit connection not as a substitute to the western medicine but as a healthy way to complement a holistic approach. It was about a decade after that first surgery that I found a healer who sensed the blocked energy in my uterus that resulted from those operations and restored the energetic flow. Through a lot of personal womb energy healing, I eventually reached a point where my womb felt safe to remind me what the Mind had pushed down. It was the doctor's knife that cut through my skin and it was the spoken words - how everything was addressed - that cut through my emotional body at the time. This realisation came with a beatifully raw sense of release and a full reclaiming of the power and wisdom of my feminine body.
If you are reading this post and had surgical procedures in the past (in your wombspace or elsewhere in the body), I whole-heartedly encourage you to ask your body if there is any medical or emotional energy that needs to be healed. If the answer is yes and you feel you need support, then I would be happy to assist.
Healing my feminine nature and wombspace has been a life line of support that has been slowly guiding me Home to Self. I started this journey in my 30s whilst working in Process Improvement/ Project Management within a manufacturing environment. I remember being very conscious about the fact that I was "Young", "Foreign" and a "Woman" in a traditionally masculine workplace where, once again, I had to adapt my style of communication and interacting with others in order to achieve. At the same time, my personal life included a string of meaningless or unsatisfactory relationships for sexual and emotional gratification. Without a real connection to my feminine nature, it almost felt like a part of me was handing over my body without fully owning my pleasure. Given all my medical and sexual history, I had to go through many layers of both feminine and womb healing.
I still remember fondly when I first sat in circle of women who had gathered to remember and reclaim their true feminine essence. I could not wait to finish my working week and join the sacred container of sisterhood in my weekends to nourish my soul and heal the scars in my body and my psyche. All of a sudden, I was handed a different vocabulary to recapitulate my past and connect with my centre: my yoni, my sacred container, my wombspace, my holy of hollies. This was the beginning of my journey to Wholeness.
As I was immersing my self into the Sacred Feminine, I could not help but flinch a little every time I heard all the "other" words spoken on the streets, the tv and social media.
"What a cunt... pussy... cocksucker... dick.... dickhead... etc, etc, etc"
I know of many women who have written and spoken extensively about the origin of the word "cunt" trying to reclaim its origin meaning. I am really glad that many women started talking about "the pussy power as sacred". On a personal level, I have never resonated with these words partly because I could sense the collective energy of anger and shame wrapped around them. It hurt inside to witness the human race attack, insult, shame and try to undermine one another with the use of words that describe the holliest parts of the human body and the divine creation.
The wombspace is the seat of the feminine creative life force energy where all life is birthed. Similarly the sound is what first emanates from the Womb of the Cosmic Mother. The words we speak carry a sound vibration that has the power to create our Reality. Our intention, emotion and relationship with the words we speak is what infuses them with power. Indigenous cultures knew this Truth and they also understood the Power of the Name in a person's life. Around the world, new parents would consult with their Elders (the Wise Men and Women) in their communities to choose Names for their babies that would bring out the positive influences of the baby's birth chart. They believed that the Name should represent (and therefore help cultivate) a person's natural talents and life purpose. During my shamanic training, I was given my Spiritual Name from my Teacher (Eliana Harvey at Shamanka) based on my Power Animal. That Name acted as my guide and inner compass for many years. More recently I attended a training course on Healing the Pelvic Bowl with Suzanne Scurlock who invited us to connect with our wombspace and ask for its Name. It was one of the deepest and most personal experiences in my whole life.
"Is this your Name?" I asked a few times to make sure and I could feel a wave of elation arising from my wombspace together with a clear mandate about the Authentic Power of My Feminine Essence.
That one Word that came to be my Yoni Name seemed to embrace all of my soul's intricate design for this life time. I gained a much deeper sense of the creative life force energy (my womb energy) flowing in my body and how it supported my purpose in life. I would often sound the Name in my belly to commune with my womb consciousness who helped further define my sense of identity and role in this life. It also created a safe and well defined space to nourish my true needs and honour my feminine wisdom. Decades of emotionally-void, medical and impersonal words were now replaced by that one Name that perfectly described.. Me!
The day after I receiv